Cheat Sheet for Republican Hypocrisy and Attack

When pressed in personal open combat or a fast moving Facebook debate in front of an audience, an entire cosmos of information is too much to access in the couple minutes, or even limited seconds you have to respond. Years of study and useful information logjams up near the end of the road, essentially overloading the circuit-board and making a quick rebuttal difficult at times. Quite simply there is so much to hate about Republicans and Libertarians that it’s near impossible to choose from a sea of options when asked what makes them so bad. Here is a back of the napkin cheat sheet when pressed with common opening salvos like “Liberals are hypocrites” or “Liberals don’t use logic” or any broad and non specific attack aimed at the ideology in general. Gleaned from real world combat, these are the quickest responses to counter punch with while attempting to get the subject on a specific track where you can then specialize.

Conserevatives and Republicans often argue with “funny” one line salvos containing virtually no intellectual weight, relying on profoundly narrow and misunderstood conceptions. For example, all Liberals are “hippies” and “communists” and “Socialists.” “Oh, I didn’t know you’re a liberal. So you’re a Communist huh?” (Haha, obligatory laugh). In a venue where this would hit, an extensive treatise on Keynesian Economics is not likely to be convincing. You might reply simply with, “Oh, you’re a Conservative? So you’re a Nazi huh! Got it!” Since Nazi is the far right equivalent to the far left strawman of Liberal. “Hippy” can be met with “I’d rather care about the environment than be a racist, xenophobic, chauvinist nationalist.”

A review of Far-Right Politics can be helpful here. This isn’t high-level intellectual argument, but can keep you from appearing on the defensive in a group where something as minimally intelligent as “Communist” and “hippy” would land as a salvo.

How about your ilk who defend the shooting of 12 year old Tamir Rice in Cleveland. So much for Pro Life. The friends of the right who call him a thug and say the cop, a trained officer of the law, “had no choice” but go on to defend armed adults taking over a Federal building in Oregon?

How about the uninformed and ignorant who continue to refer to Obama as Muslim. 54% of Republicans answered affirmative when asked if Obama is a Muslim. This is at best willful ignorance and at worse blind spiteful bias.

Or the millions incarcerated for nonviolent offenses that Democrats want to pardon. There is no talk of this on the GOP side. Lock them up for weed. Republicans are for Freedom you see?

Republicans are pro-life, until the child is born. Then detrimental food deficiencies be damned, they should have known better, and any social assistance is giving to the undeserving poor while CEOs receiving billions in subsidies goes ignored. Where is the outrage there?

Flint Michigan. Republican poisons the water supply – then uses resources to throw people in prison for 15 years over oral sex. Republicans then claim they are for small government and more freedom.

The most insidious thing about Conservatives and the belief in trickle-down economics isn’t believing that if the rich get richer, it’s good for the economy. It’s believing that if the poor get richer, it’s bad for the economy.

It was Bush who wanted to go so far as add a constitutional amendment barring equal protection of marriage for gays, not Obama or Clinton. Because Republicans are for freedom, and rugged individualism, right? Or perhaps they legislate morality, while Democrats attempt policy to keep the economy from falling into freefall.

Sometimes you will meet with people who have a few Liberal jokes on hand to get the audience going. Again, it is often problematic meeting low brow humor with intellectual argument. These rebuts can buy you time to navigate the conversation to a more intellectual, philisophical and economic based conversation.

Q: What do an honest Conservative and God have in Common?
A: They are both imaginary!

Q: What do you call an idiot who spends their days mortified by aliens, Arabs and anthrax?
A: “A Fox News Viewer”

Q: What do you call a basement full of Conservatives?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: Why did the Republican cross the road?
A: There was a black guy on the first side.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he’s done.

Democrats make better lovers. Ever heard of a “good piece of elephant?”

Back of the Napkin Common Republican Arguments 

You Never got a job from a poor person!

That’s right. And I probably never got a job from a rich person either. Most jobs in the United States come from small business owners who make a modest income. Athletes, CEOS, Entertainers, and Speculators don’t really “hire” people. I’m betting the heirs to the Wal Mart Fortune, who collectively are worth 100 billion dollars and more than the bottom 100 million American’s combined, do not go out and “hire” people. Management and far lower paid workers are the ones who do the “hiring.” The ones that determine expansion are not the ones at the top.

Also, I do not value human being solely on whether or not they can “give me a job.” Being a cabana boy to rich people isn’t really the idea of the American Dream. Most rich people save their money or put it overseas in tax havens anyway, not use it to just go out and “hire” people. What they would be “hiring” people for anyway we are never told. Their money often returns more to them in speculation than hiring people. Shared values and prosperity, working together as a nation on problems like Climate Change, Hunger, Poverty, and Inequality are far more valuable to me than punt kicking all our potential money for infrastructure and education money to a bunch of wealthy asshole who already have more than enough to “hire” but choose not to. How much do they need before they “hire?”

Inequality is higher now than at any time since the 1920s, a period of over 100 years.  The wealthy are wealthier now than they have ever been, yet the right still complains about unemployment and the job market is still very difficult. How much more money should we make sure they have before they will start “creating jobs?”

Tax Breaks for CEOS doesn’t lead to hiring because CEOs rarely if ever actually “hire” people. Management and staff are put in charge of the actual human resource management. The CEO isn’t in the habit of “Creating Jobs.” He will very often fire people to make the company more “efficient.” Actual entrepreneurs do indeed create jobs, but most entrepreneurs do not start out rich and thus pay taxes at a normal rate anyway. Capital gains is responsible for most of the income and wealth for those at the very top, and this is personal money, not the money of the company, that isn’t really used for “hiring.”